The Third Liberation Front

Another early day at work. I'm very tired and in no mood for antics of any kind.

Actually, that's not true at all although I am very tired and I'll be at work for ten hours today. However, yes of course, Callie is still alive. She is active in the Third Liberation Front as an operative in the field. Using her uncanny abilities in the areas of cool thinking, resourcefulness and ju jitsu, she is able to out-fight, out-wit and generally out-class the enemy. Really though she's busy just hanging out.

I don't think I have any news . . . . at least none that's of general interest . . .

You know what really bothers me about my dog? The fact that I was not able to have her preserved. Like I think it would be cool to have a stuffed Lady statue. People do it with deer heads all the time, but I wouldn't have saved just her head. I would have kept the entire body. It would be just like a stuffed animal only better.

I might go to the mall tonight and spend a lot of money in some kind of work-too-much-stupor. That would be totally great. I just can't even think right now so I'd better go and maybe come back some other time.

Mr. Jimmy Ellroy

I am so tired and all I want to do is read my James Ellroy. That guy is such a great writer. Seriously, you honchos have no idea, even the ones who dislike reading intensely would be able to appreciate it. It's great. I think James Ellroy and Chuck Pahliniuk (or whatever his last name is, you know the guy I'm talking about) are two of my favorite contemporary writers.

In other news:
- I might be running off to Ohio sometime soon.
- I rented a movie on Thursday and I have yet to return it so my late fee is going to be enormous.
- There are ants in our kitchen again and I do not like ants. They are almost as scary as spiders but not quite. When I see a whole bunch of them together it makes my skin absolutely crawl.


That reminds me, there's this place in Texas or Arizona or New Mexico (it's one of those desert states) where tarantulas migrate to and they do it in huge numbers so there's this swarm of tarantulas somewhere in the desert and people go to certain points on the migration path to watch them. That is one of the worst things I have ever heard and you can be sure that if I were somehow forced to go there and watch that spectacle, I would die of horror. Or at least hyperventilate and then pass out.

Well, I had better get back to concentrating on making the last thirty minutes of work go faster so that I can get home and read some Jimmy Ellroy. So I'm off, you goons!

It is Waaaaay Too Early

About that Trivial Pursuit game . . . I suppose you did win Traever. But just barely.

It is so early and I am at work and will be here until 6:00 pm. It's like a slow moving nightmare. Plus I had to drive here in my sister's stick shift car and I didn't kill it, but there was a time when I had to really slow down because of the car ahead of me but not come to a complete stop and I didn't know what to do. So I tried just starting over in first but that didn't work out so well and the car growled at me and stalled and then I panicked and just shoved it into second and it lurched forward and I just went from there. Anyway, what do you do when you have to slow down to a rolling stop but not a complete stop? Do you just down shift to second or what? Why do we have stick shifts anyway? Because somebody invented cars that do it by themselves. I hate stick cars with a thousand white hot hates.

I am so tired already and it is only 8:00 am. I've been here for over an hour and I have like nine more to go. I don't know if I'll make it. Plus I've already had one gigantic mug of coffee and I don't think it's helped any. Someone needs to make a preemptive move and hire me a defense attorney because I can't be held responsible for my actions when I have to get up this early.

I have to go get more coffee so see ya suckas.

I'll Have You People Know a Thing or Two

I'll have you people know that I changed my blog to the "Beta Revolution" or some such nonsense. The blogger people wouldn't let me post in my old format anymore! I am so mad about this, you have no idea. They shouldn't be able to force me to do anything. I hope the blood rots in their veins! You may have noticed that I don't handle change well, at least not nonsense change.

Here's the real story: Alison likes me better than Traever (and JonAthan too probably) and here's why:
1) I am much nicer.
2) I have lots and lots of lovely shoes.
3) I went to the rodeo this year (JonAthan went too, but not the whole time).
4) One time I sent her a care package when she was in Kansas and there were Snicker bars in that care package.

There are many more reasons, however if I listed them all it would become tedious.

And now for something completely different . . . my car is dying a slow death and so I'm going to have to start driving my sister's and it is a stickshift so that should be neat. I'm not so good with a stick and double that in traffic. I think I want a nice, sturdy, beater car that I can drive over ramps and the like. It's almost springtime and I feel like being Stunt Driver McGee.

Also, if I could have two superpowers I would pick mind control and the ability to understand and speak every language ever. That or the ability to swim without getting all pruny, but I think the language one would be more beneficial in the long run.

I want to ride some roller coasters. I haven't been to Six Flags in a long time and I kind of want to go ride The Giant Drop and the other one that I like. I can't remember its name exactly, but it had "bull" in it. It was the one that we rode over and over again on our class trip. I think we went on that roller coaster like seven times in a row. One time my cousins and I went to Six Flags and we stayed until closing and they were for real locking up the park and when they do that they run the rides through over and over again to kind of check them out and for some reason they let my cousin Walter get on and stay on for the run-through. So everyone was ready to leave but Walter wouldn't get off of the roller coaster and my cousin Gabe finally got so mad that we just left Walter there and we haven't seen him since. Just kidding. We did leave though and we went to this Chinese restaurant like a block away and then we went back and got Walter about an hour later, but anyway Walter was always kind of difficult.

Right, maybe I'll see you suckas later.