I Might Be Allergic to Cantelope

You know what is so weird? People in Russia couldn't believe in God and have whatever job they wanted. They could believe in God and then have crappy jobs and that's about it. That didn't seem like a big deal, but I wouldn't want the job I have forever. I just want it until I go to grad school (hopefully) and maybe I wouldn't be able to go to grad school if I lived in Russia like 20 years ago. That would totally blow.

Do you know what else blows? Getting up at 6:30. I hate it. It is so horrible waking up when it is still dark and really cold out. Also, I'm not a morning person, so getting up eary is very high on my list of "Things I Hate to Do."

Things I Hate to Do:
- get up early
- drive in horrible traffic
- eat things that I don't like (to keep from hurting someone's feelings)
- make small talk
- do things that I don't want to because I feel like I can't say "no" (that's my own fault I know, but I hate that I'm like that)
- go to work

Anyway, enough of that. Here's something more cheerful: I bought another crazy antique teapot. I know, calm down everybody, don't freak out with excitement. I'm not a teapot "collector" though, and here's why: I don't buy teapots that have any real monetary value; I only buy ones that I like and that's called "buying things you like." See the difference?

Anyhow, I am so hungry right now. You have no idea. My stomach is absolutely sobbing. I'm going to have to get a snack or die and that's the final word.

Also . . .

I got a speeding ticket a while ago and guess what! I almost lost my liscense because it took me forever to pay it. Jesse White sent me a letter and this is what it said: IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME THE MONEY YOU OWE ME, I"M GOING TO REVOKE YOUR LISCENSE! And I was like whoah! And then I called them and they were like, "Just send us the money lady" and so I did. Did you know that though? That you could lose your liscense for taking a long time to pay off a speeding ticket? Because I didn't.

Here it is folks, I'm writing this while at work, on "The Man's" time. Other than that nothing is going on. At all.

Last night I fell asleep at like 10:30. Only old people sleep at 10:30. I'm getting old because of my job. It is so hot here and do you know why? Because this guy I work with was cold and so he turned the heat up to like 78 degrees and then he left and I'm not sure how to turn it down again. It's so hot it's making me tired and that's bad because it is now 11:38 AM. I'm getting spacey, like sometimes I catch myself staring at the ceiling and I'm not even wondering about anything. I'm just in some kind of bored coma. It's horrible.

You know what I'm going to have to do? I'm going to have to make up stories because nothing is happening or has happened. Except I might go bowling on Saturday. I love bowling, but only once in a while. I don't love bowling like I love Trivial Pursuit because I could play Trivial Pursuit everyday. Do you know what board game I love? And I'm not ashamed of it either. I love the Barbie "Prom" game. It is so fun because you have to earn enough money to buy a dress and then you have to land on a particular space to be able to draw a "date" card and so if you got the last "date" card you almost always got Poindexter! And Poindexter was such a nerd. I always tried to get Tom. Even if I got to draw first, I never picked Ken, I always, always picked Tom.

Guess what I am going to do right now. I'm going to go check the fax machine. And you better believe that story because it's true.

Okay, Here's What . . .

Does anybody want to go skiing in Colorado on February 3rd? My mom wants me to go, but I don't know if I can get off work. Isn't that horrible? I might miss Colorado because I can't get off work. I hate real life.

Do you know what I just bought? I just bought Resident Evil 4. So far I have opened the packaging and looked at it. I'm not scared of it and you are silly for thinking that.

When I grow up I am going to be like Robin Hood. That or a socialist. Probably not for real, but seeing how people handle and hoard money makes me want to behave rashly. I like the word Rashoman. It is the title of a Japanese movie and I cannot think of the English translation at the moment. I will look it up on Wikipedia when I am able to. That is my new hobby, looking things up on Wikipedia. I do it all the time at work when I could be filing tax reports. And I look up and read about completely useless and unrelated things, like the moons of Jupiter and Rommel's activity in Africa for instance. I also used the company printer to print off 48 pages of a manuscript not related to work. At all. What a glorious day that was. Except I got caught and had to make up a story on the spot.

Well, that's enough of that. One time Leslie and I bought this huge package of pudding snacks, but we (and when I say "we" I mean "I" because Leslie didn't pay for anything) bought them with the stipulation that we eat every single one that night and guess what! We did! I suppose we each only had three pudding snacks, but it felt like a lot because we also ate popcorn and chips and probably some other stuff too. You know what else? I don't care if that was a stupid story. I am ready to go home and I can't because everybody in the entire universe sucks.

P.S. My dad got mad at me last night for saying "that sucks." He told me not to be so vulgar.
P.P.S. I'll check and see if you got any mail JonAthan. Or else I won't, but I probably will.

Wonderful

I just watched the video of Traever's brother wrecking on the bike ramp and it is very funny. In fact, I watched it twice and laughed equally hard both times. That was great. Here is a list of things that consistently make me happy:
- watching people wreck on bike ramps
- dark chocolate/strawberry truffles
- peppermint iced-tea
- anime
- X-Files
- snowboarding

and there's other stuff to, like spending time with my friends and family, but whatever.

Post Script

P.S. There should be anime night! Because you know why? I wish it to be thus.

P.P.S. Chestnut is my favorite. It is down like a rubber clown because the terrain park is off to the side, away from all the weirdos. Do you think it will ever snow? Because I want it to.

I'm Snowboarding this Year if it Kills Me.

Oh my goodness. I am so tired and I still haven't gone snowboarding yet. I hate real life. If I don't get into grad school I am going to drive off a cliff. Actually, instead of that I'll just go snowboarding and take a really huge jump that I cannot handle and then I'll see where it goes from there. If, someday, I am horribly injured doing something, I would prefer that something to be snowboarding or else "getting beat up after heckling a major sports star."

That reminds me. Traever, if you ever read this, I still want to see the video of your brother crashing or whatever on that bike.

I haven't seen Leslie in a long time. I wonder if she is up to no good. I am up to "working" when really I should be getting into trouble and Leslie should be getting me out of it.

I haven't done anything interesting because I work in an office now and I file things and get yelled at by rich people. It is so weird. These people have so much money but they worry about it more than anyone else I have ever come into contact with. I just ended that sentence with a preposition, which is inappropriate, but I don't care.

Also, I can kind of speak Old Norse. Did you know that? Listen to this: Konungrinn ser ulf. Konungrinn tekr brandinn. Hann vegr ulfinn. But really, that's nothing to be proud of because no one speaks Old Norse anymore. No one even knows how it is really pronounced.

I am so excited to be done with work. I think I am going to go to the mall or else Barnes and Noble. That is how I reward myself, I go buy books. I got this pirate book for Christmas and it is so cool. There is a skeleton head on the front of it and it has a shiny fake ruby in it's eye! It is so great, you have no idea. Do you know what grog is? Because I do and in my pirate book there is even a recipe that tells you how to make it.

I am so hungry. I think I want pizza now. I might go get some because the oven at my apartment started on fire when I was alone with it and I am still a little afraid to use it. I have decided: I am going to go get pizza because, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I might be slightly tired of Taco Bell. I had Taco Bell for like eight days in a row. But I'm never really tired of Taco Bell. That will never happen.