The Salt Wars

I am currently fighting in the "Salt Wars." It sounds very dramatic and interesting doesn't it. Like maybe we're fighting some sand people over the last salt deposits on the entire earth and I'm a medic in the paratroopers!! I wish it were, but what it really means is that I have to constantly clean up the salt that "they" ("they" meaning the sand people) sprinkle everywhere to melt the snow on the sidewalks and that people track in all the time. A tad disappointing.

Also, I am going completely crazy because I hate driving this time of year when people are just milling around, only they're doing it in large metal machines that crush human bones and flesh into pulp. All right. The tortellini is done so I am going to go eat it.

I'm Not At Home Anymore

I think I may be turning into an agoraphobic. Of course I'm exaggerating, but I seriously do not want to leave my house . . . ever. I love it there. I think it has to do with the fact that there are cookies and warm temperatures at my house and everyone loves me and puts up with me and there is always milk because my mom actually goes to the grocery store and buys it. When I have to leave I start thinking extremely negative thoughts, mostly thoughts like, "I hate everything and I want to stay here." Anyway, enough of that . . . I am going to buy presents for my family tomorrow. I will probably spend too much money but I really don't care because I love getting presents for people at Christmas. I think that it would be cool to be like Santa Claus. Especially the living in the North Pole and the red suit with fur trim, except my red suit would be all sparkly.

Peppermint Ice Cream

I like peppermint ice cream. I also like drumsticks and scooter bars. But I like peppermint ice cream. A little while ago I was thinking that they should make peppermint ice cream all year round, but then I decided that it wouldn't be as special if it was available all the time.

Thanks Jake and Tommy

I should say "thank you" to Jake and Tommy because they helped me get my car started that one time. I already said "thanks" to their faces, but I should tell everyone the story (even though it happened a while ago) because then you will all realize that they are very nice and helpful, and also why Jake showed me how to do a "reverse 180."

One day my car would not start and I had to go to work. I didn't really know what was wrong with it but I was pretty sure that jumper cables could fix it and so I went to Jake's apartment and knocked on the door. He answered it and I asked if anyone had jumper cables and JonAthan did and so Jake and I went out to start my car because JonAthan was cold or something and didn't want to help even though I drove him somewhere once . . . anyway, we went out to jump my car and we were going to get the jumper cables out of his trunk, but it was frozen shut. So then I was like, "Who else has jumper cables?" and Jake said, "Tommy does." and so we knocked on their door and Tommy was like, "Yeah, I have jumper cables." And sooooo, Tommy got his big ol' truck out and they were getting all ready to jump my car when Jake got in it and started it right up. I was very surprised and a little embarrassed, but too happy to really think about that . . . and I was late for work so I let it go. And also, somewhere in there Jake insisted on showing me a "reverse 180."

The story isn't that exciting, I mean there weren't any car chases, or any really awesome gun fights or sharks fighting alligators, but those guys were pretty nice, so it probably evens out in the end.

If you would like to know something else then you should read on:
- There are Christmas lights hanging around our front window, and I hate them. Well, I shouldn't say "hate them." Instead I should say "I think they look unattractive." This does not mean that I do not like Christmas decorations. I love Christmas decorations . . . just not these. And I like the girls who put them up so I suppose that the lights are beautiful in some metaphorical sense.

Jenn's Fictitious Drinking Problem

In case any of you do not know. Fictitious means "made up" or something along those lines.

Am I responsible you ask. Yes. Yes I am. Except for one time at Kroger, I saw a guy steal some gum and I wasn't sure what to do so I didn't say anything. He put it in his girlfriend's (and she was way too young for him) coat pocket and she didn't realize it so if they got stopped for shop-lifting then she would be the one who caught it. I wasn't sure if I should have made a citizen's arrest or if I should have yelled "Hey! I saw that!" or what. Who steals a pack of gum anyway? The End.

Kantilever

Les bought a new playstation game, so I will be busy not studying for finals. Actually, I'm lying. I will be busy studying . . . and writing papers and preparing presentations and going to work and Christmas shopping so I don't want to hear it. I'm sorry but I feel a little sassy right now because it's late and I'm finishing up one of those papers.

Anyhoo, no spectacular news, except that my mom makes wonderful cookies for me because it is Christmas time. Also, I like tinsel. I am a little embarrassed by that. Instead of using it to decorate I like to wear it as a necklace (and sometimes a matching headband).

Oh! Here's some news! Les got accepted into the school of art!! I am very proud of her and I think that everyone who reads this should clap their hands and say, "Yay Leslie!" in honor of her, no matter where they are. Even if you are in an office at a brand-spanking new job, you should still clap and cheer for Leslie.

Also, Les and I are watching "Band of Brothers" constantly. I must just say, I'm the one who got her hooked on it! Muwahahahaha! I spread like a virus! Soon she will be addicted to "Avatar: The Last Airbender" and Kuchen Pie!! And all because of me!!

On another note, I was at my house and I was moving the wine rack and I was very impatient and not using all of my common sense and as I was carrying the wine rack a bottle of wine fell out of it and smashed into a thousand pieces all over the kitchen floor. I was barefoot and the shards of glass cut up my toes and the wine went all over the floor and my dad said, "A whole bottle of wine, wasted!" and the kitchen smelled like wine for about two days. It was not a moment of shining glory. However, it was the dry red and I don't like that kind very much anyway. The End. Now I know that's not the best story and I probably should have kept it to myself but I have to finish my paper so who cares?