Childish I Know . . .

If Les doesn't come home soon (which she really has no control over, I'm just being snotty) I am going to wear all her clothes and not wash them . . . and I'll do it out of spite. Not because I need to.

Half a Minute

Today I saw an old man zipping by on a motor scooter thing. They are not called motor scooters anymore, but I do like the way it sounds. Anyway, he was riding on his little red motor scooter, and going rather fast. It was glorious.

Now I not only miss Ali, but I miss Les too. This kind of sucks.

I'm Going to Take a Nap in a Little While

A girl who is not me was fired at work.

My manager says that I am "jumpy". That may be so, but if he had a friend like Callie (who hunts for throats to cut at night) then he would be a little jumpy too!!!

Ha ha!! I am not being serious. Callie does not hunt for throats to cut, and especially not at night (She's afraid of the dark). Callie is actually very nice and I am only teasing when I say that she is forever plotting my death.

The reason for my "jumpy-ness" is very simple, but I will not tell it to you.

I have food again!! It is magnificently wonderful! I do not have to eat granola bars and ice cream for supper anymore.

It is time for my nap.

Good Gracious

Well, Christina Elena Maria was here today!!! She keeps telling me that that's not her name, and I know it isn't, but I like to call her that anyway. For those of you who know her, she is very fun and energetic and when I'm around her, I feel old. We had lots of fun and consequently, I am absolutely exhausted. I cannot believe how tired I am.

Also . . . it has finally cooled down.

I have compiled a list. This is a list of people who are pleasantly weird, or people who I have not completely figured out yet:
- Jake - Jake does random things. He always keeps me (and everyone else) wondering.
- Tommy, and Becca's brother, and everyone else who makes me nervous because they are SO quiet, but then sometimes they say things that totally throw me off balance.
- Callie - And no one can ever be sure of Callie.
- Jonathon E. - Because he is just so odd . . . and random. Like the time he walked in the door, grabbed a handful of malt balls, and then walked out again.
- Will (Elise's neighbor) - He's really nice, but sometimes he laughs at stuff I say, and I can't tell if he's laughing because he's afraid . . .

When you're this tired you just have to sleep.

What is Presently Occuring

Well, as of now I am bored because Les refuses to buy cool games for her playstation and instead tries to convince me that if I want to play them so badly I should buy them and then give them to her as "presents". Smells like evil trickery to me. On another note there is a large bottle of tomatoe juice in the refrigerator that has been there for at least a month. I am alarmed by this "tomatoe juice" and am afraid to inspect it, as it probably contains vicious microbes. I have to get up early tomorrow and go for a walk, otherwise I will feel like a worthless human being. My reasons for this are vague and unintelligable, however, that is how I feel. Also, if I were to possess super powers, they would consist of super speed and the ability to shoot excessive amounts of energy from my fingertips in the form of lighting bolts. That would be so neat.

Let's Take a Gander

http://rumandmonkey.com/articles/289/

I am not sure if that link will work, but I felt like I should try. Oh, and they're British. That should explain everything.

It's 10:55

*I was going to wake up at 8:00 today, but I didn't. Are you ashamed of me?*

Garrrr

*Have you noticed that I am continually proclaiming that I am not a violent individual in spite of my random expressions of terribly violent activity. I have noticed it as well. In all actuality I am much too clumsy to be violent, however I do laugh at violent, physical comedy, even if it isn't supposed to be comedic. This may mean that I am a bad person. I'm not sure. More tests are required*

Great Things are Going on Here

News:
- Callie refuses to name her cat Tiglash Pilesar (pronounced Pill-eh-zar), which is a very nice name in my opinion. She insists on George, which I can accept.

- I am still employed.

- I may have alienated my neighbors . . . they parked in OUR parking space (I know it was them because I saw the same car in THEIR space later on) and I left them a note . . . and now I think they may want to destroy me. You decide. The note ran as follows:
- Hi, please do not park in our space again. If you do, we will find out who you are and where you live and we will kill your dog. Just kidding. We would never do anything like that. But seriously, please do not park in our space again . . . unless you ask us first. Thanks.

- It is very, very hot out.

Okay, it is way too hot. It makes me absolutely furious. It makes me want to disfigure someone . . . no one in particular, just some random individual that I am able to get my hands on. I am already looking forward to autumn and it is only the beginning of June. By the way, I am going to be a pirate for Halloween. I am so excited about it that I might dress up a little early . . . like tomorrow. But it's almost too hot to be a pirate. I can't believe I just said that! It's never too hot to be a pirate!! Arrrrrr me mateys!

*I sound like a very violent person, but I'm really not*

Bad News

I am going to get fired. And I am serious . . . and I mean more seriouser than every other time I have said it. Allright, here's the story:

1) I was at work for around two hours when I finally noticed that my fly was down!! AHHHHH! It was awful. It's because of the two buttons on my pants! When there are two buttons I button them and then feel like my work has been completed and I invariably forget that there is a zipper that needs some attention as well.

2) This is the worst story yet. Okay, it's Sunday afternoon and I just fell asleep and my phone starts ringing. So I answer it, and it is my manager and he is telling me that I was supposed to be at work a half hour ago. Ha ha ha Mr. Manager. You are not being funny, and he's not because he's being serious. Anyway, what happened is, I wrote the time down wrong, but I was so sure it said 6:30 and when I got to work, 3;30 was written very neatly on the schedule. And that's not the worst part. My car broke down on the way to work . . . at an intersection and everyone was giving me hateful looks as they whizzed past me. It was awful!

Therefore, I hypothesize (sp?) that I will be fired presently. But it's okay because I have a back-up plan and that back-up plan is to marry a very wealthy gentleman and then murder that very wealthy gentleman and inherit all his money. Ha ha! I am kidding. I'll hire someone else to murder him, and then inherit all his money! Sounds good to me!

*By the way, I know that more seriouser is sooo wrong . . . but I decided to use it anyway*

*Also, I would never hire anyone to murder anyone else. That is not very nice*

Let That be a Lesson to You

*I finally started buying pants in the appropriate size. It's nice when they fit right*