Monday, January 21, 2008

Ohio = Worst State Ever

I'm in Ohio.

I'm in Ohio and also I can't sleep. It's because I just drove here from home and it's seven hours from there to here and I drink a substantial amount of coffee to help me stay awake. That's why I'm not sleeping. I'm not even making an attempt at sleep. Instead I'm doing this and eating popcorn.

A car just drove by and it was so loud. The cars here are loud because this is hill country and the hill country people drive their effing loud cars just as often as they wear trucker hats to Wal-Mart. Which is every second.

Really I'm just mad and that's why I said those mean things. This is hill country, but the hill country people are just like you and me except dirtier.

Ha! That was another joke. And it was mean. I won't do that again. It's just because of the cars. Really I think it's just one car and some jerk drives it past my house every night at 1:00 AM. One time though I woke up at 3:33 because somebody was driving past my house in a travesty of noise and bother. It was so loud . . . I can't even explain how loud it was, and even if I could you probably wouldn't be able to comprehend the magnitude of it, just because it was and is beyond the ability and decency of normal human beings.

Also, I live on the third floor of my house and so you'd think the percussive quality of sound would decrease as it travels away and upwards . . . you'd think that and you'd be wrong because in Ohio sound defeats the principles of physics and all the other sciences and increases in volume as it expands and travels.

I'm finally feeling tired. It's because of all the big words which, by the way, I threw in without really considering their true definitions. And my investigation into the principles of sound is so totally made up. Whatever.

2 Comments:

Blogger Traever Guingrich said...

where do you even live now and why? do you have a job or something? i look forward to your next post sometime around thanksgiving.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Booder said...

oh my goodness traever, i live in ohio. i told you guys this. i know i did. anyway, i go to grad school here.

plus, i'm going to post before thanksgiving. i'm going to post right now.

9:49 PM  

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