And You Thought You Knew

Goodness what a day. I did everything, I mean you will not believe all of the things I did. I . . . .

- Number 1 - rode a motorcycle, blindfolded.
- Number 2 - destroyed a zombie army
- Number 3 - launched a grenade into a helicopter piloted by vampire nuns
- Number 4 - bought this really weird cereal from Sweden. I mean, you should see the packaging, it makes absolutely no sense, but it sounded good, so I bought it.

I also bought these dark chocolate strawberry truffles and they were sooooooo good. I love dark chocolate and strawberries. It's like the best combination ever.

Tomorrow makes it one day closer to the second day of my new job. The first day went well, but I was slightly nervous about it. The night before, I had a dream that I was supposed to go to work but my car was all weird. The wheels were missing and there were just rims. There was one little wheel in front and two big wheels in back, like a clown car, and I was like, "Oh no! I can't get to work like this." and my dad replied, "Just drive on the side of the road. That's what it's there for." And so I did and my car went so slow and there were sparks everywhere and I finally got to work, but I was late, and my boss was like, "You're late!" (only he said it like an umpire when they say, "yerrrr out!) and I was like, "but look at my car!" And then I woke up.

I have to go write some papers now.

Why It Is Indeed Time For Snowboarding

It is time for snowboarding. I realize that there is, in fact, no snow on the ground, but that doesn't matter and it won't stop me because I love it with all of my heart. I will put on my snowboarding pants and coat and hat and gloves and especially my goggles and my boots and I will walk around the house grinning. When I first got my boots I very nearly wore them to school the next day . . . anyhow, I am not a freak. There are others like me.

Here is a snowboarding story:
- One time we were snowboarding (Ali and I, just us, and I'm pretty sure it was the best trip ever) and we were minding our own business and having a great time when this weird-o guy shared a lift ride with us and he started talking and he asked us why we were following his friend around. Ali and I were like, "What? Who?" and the weird-o guy was like, "My friend. In the orange hat." And then he pointed out his weird-o friend, who we had never even seen before, and then they totally tried to hang out with us, but we ditched them. I mean, the nerve! If Brian had been there hopefully he would have kicked their butts (with his juvenille delinquent skills) because they were trying to hit on his wife.

Discussion Questions:
- How many times did I use the word snowboarding? Because it seems like a lot.
- Is there anything better than a snowboarding trip that ends with a game of Trivial Pursuit? Maybe ice cream, but that's it.

By the way, it is time for snowboarding because I said so.

The Fastest Cheetah Alive

Thanks Ali, but remember, not only are you and Brian the same hotness, you are also the same wonderfulness.

All right, so the champion of Trivial Pursuit was decided last night, and it was me, and before everyone starts shouting obscenities, let me explain the logic:
- First of all I did have 400 hundred (million gazillion) points

- Second of all, Traever kept yelling gibberish so loudly that no one else was able to respond and he kept giving himself imaginary points, so much so that he had to be punished until he was down triple negative points and his answer to EVERYTHING from "Traever, you can't do that, that's cheating," to "What just happened?" was, in an incredibly loud voice, "THIS IS MY HOUSE!"

- Third of all, JonAthan thought he won, but the last question, the one that crowned the champion of all champions, that he answered correctly, was disqualified although I cannot remember for what reason even though I do remember the disqualification was valid.

The Truth About Trivial Pursuit:
- The truth is that no one won. We weren't even really keeping score (but Traever really did have triple negative points). It was more of a free for all, like jeopardy except without the buzzers. The bottom line is; it was really fun and I won because I was the least obnoxious (maybe).

Discussion Questions:
- Traever, did you really go to an Allmand Brothers concert?
- Did I spell "Allmand Brothers" right?

Well, I'm out of interesting items of conversation. If I were a cruel person I would describe the adorable antics of my cats, but I am not a cruel person.

P.S. Thanks to Traever and Andrea for a fun time last night! And the cookies and the brownies were really good.



P.P.S. Okay, I know I said I would not tell a story about my cats, but I just want to know if this is normal: One time my cat killed a mouse and brought it to me, and I was like, "Ewwww, gross Ingrid." Then I turned and walked away because she started crunching on it's head. I walked, maybe a yard, not even, away from her and then turned around and went back to where she was sitting and the mouse was gone, completely gone, the only evidence of its existence a small streak of blood on the ground. Now is that normal? I mean there's usually a spinal cord or a tail or the hands left over . . .

It Froze or Something

I just typed up a very clever and engaging bit of stuff and then it was lost in the black hole of this computer. It's an evil computer with a maniacal grin and I am frustrated. I'll write something later.

Seriousness

This is very important:
1) This is probably the best semester ever.
2) I don't want a real job yet. Real jobs seem horrible and scary.

I'm just a smidge nervous about graduating because then I will be a for-real adult with responsibilities and loans to pay. Therefore, logically, I want to get into an MFA program or failing that, to get a cool job. However, I am under the impression that "cool jobs" are so extremely rare as to be considered mythical tales and anyone who says differently is a lying liar. If I have to get an actual job, I would prefer jobs that do not make me feel as though I have moved to Communist Russia.

Jobs I Would Prefer:
- Circus Performer - preferablly fire-swallower. I would be able to spit fireballs. What more could I possibly want?
- Jewel Thief - but only the kind that doesn't get caught.
- Ship Captain - the kind with a gun in a holster.
- Magician's Assistant - who wouldn't want to be one?
- The Sears Tower Window Cleaner - it would be pretty cool, but maybe just once.