Listen Here Now

I am so tired. Tired and I are fighters in a boxing match and we're both so exhausted that we're doing that thing where boxers just kind of bear hug each other and randomly punch without causing any damage. Also it's deathly cold here, here being work and not the Arctic, which is what it feels like. Seriously, it's so cold my hands are aching. But it helps me not fall asleep so that's nice.

I'm also hungry but instead of food I'm going to go get the strongest coffee I can find and I'm going to drink it all at once. And then I'll probably cry because my throat is burned. You should never drink hot coffee all at once children and that's why I am going to get iced coffee and so really I was joking about the throat burning and the crying. Besides I never cry. I'm too tough.

I don't have any stories or topics of interest. I do have a dirty joke though. Just everybody go hide because I'm going to go ahead and tell it. Here it is . . .

Men are like hardwood floors . . . lay 'em right the first time and you can walk all over them forever.

Leslie knows that one because I told it to her.

Oh gosh I feel like I could sleep for a couple days and then go camping. All right, I suppose I'd better get back to work. Several things are happening at once and as I can only concentrate on sparkles and gypsy bangles right now I'd better stop and make an attempt to focus on accounting related things. That's totally lame and I'm not really going to do it, but I'd better go anyway.

A Few Months From Now . . .

Anyway, work has finally calmed down and so now I can do things that don't include:

1) answering the phone
2) filing
3) alphabetising
4) taking faxes around
5) writing memos
6) making copies

and a whole host of other pointless office tasks. Now that I have time to do whatever I please (as long as I appear busy) I have become rather bored and so I'm doing this again.

Here's the real issue: last night I saw a man (this was on a tv show) catch a fish by placing a net, like a net with a handle, on the shore of a lake and the fish just jumped into the net (the net wasn't underwater or anything) and the man said, "That's how we catch fish in Johnsonville, Illinois." And I was like, "What? Really!?" Anyway, I wanted to know if there was some kind of special trick that did it or if that whole thing was just a fluke or if that man was a liar and really the fish was tied to a string and they just made it look like the fish jumped when actually, they pulled it. The one person I can think of who would maybe know something about this is Brian (Alison's husband) because he comes from Missouri where they catch fish on a "line" and do this thing called "garring" or whatnot. The point is, all of those activities involve catching fish in odd ways and that's the connection.

Also, the people at this office just wander around randomly. It drives me absolutely crazy because they're constantly walking by me and this means that I have to try and appear busy sporadically and without warning. It makes me paranoid and I can feel them walk by like bugs on my skin.

Well, that's all. Except it's nice that Traever was able to go on vacation.