My Last Will and Testament

Well. I am leaving for the "Nightmare Weekend" in about three hours. If I do not return then Leslie gets anything she wants of mine. She'll probably take all my quilts. Especially probably my blue satin quilt that I love with all my heart. But, that's fine because I'll be dead. Callie gets all my cats. Don't worry . . . after she feeds them on Saturday she will develop an inordinate affection for them, especialaly Ingrid, who always seems to take a liking to cranky, sarcastic people. Callie also gets my entire collection of Agatha Christie books. Elise gets my red quilt (because she likes red) and the cactus that I haven't bought yet. Leah can have my copy of Pride and Prejudice. I think it is the only book I own that she might enjoy. Ali gets all my snowboarding equipment and whatever is in my checking account so she can pay for her lift ticket. Jon gets dibs on Beth and Holly can have all my picture frames because those are probably the only things she would want to take. Jenn gets my car so she can sell it and possibly buy paper towels. Jake can have all my movies (except Road Warrior, which Tommy can have) and I hope that Tommy will tie him to a chair and glue his eyes open and force him to watch those intellectual atrocities until he is unable to remember his own name. JonAthan doesn't get anything. Ha ha! Just kidding! JonAthan can have all whoppers I left in the cheery jack-o-lantern on the coffee table. Traever can have all my classic rock knowledge that he so wishes he posessed. And he does, you know he does. Also, Leslie gets first dibbs on my hat collection. I'm going to stop now because I am feeling a tad depressed.

P.S. Leslie, my quilt had better be on my bed when I get home unless I really am dead . . . but if I'm not, then it better be there!