Illness
First off I was horribly and violently sick all week. It all started with a tiny cold and suddenly I was vomiting my intestines into a ceramic bowl made by Leslie for that exact purpose. Actually I did not vomit at all and Leslie has not made a cermaic bowl for me to puke in. I wish she would though. That would be super cool, not to be confused with Team Cool. Today I would like to talk about the benefits of being sick. Really, being sick is quite awful, but there were several things that happened because I was sick and I have labeled them "benefits."
Benefit #1) I did not have to go to school
Benefit #2) I was able to lay around all day without anyone giving me that look that says "and what did you do all day, you horrible lazy-person?"
Benefit #3) My mom bought my groceries for me
Benefit #4) Leslie rubbed my back and said, "You poor thing"
However, those four benefits do not really make up for all the misery so just scratch everything.
Benefit #1) I did not have to go to school
Benefit #2) I was able to lay around all day without anyone giving me that look that says "and what did you do all day, you horrible lazy-person?"
Benefit #3) My mom bought my groceries for me
Benefit #4) Leslie rubbed my back and said, "You poor thing"
However, those four benefits do not really make up for all the misery so just scratch everything.
posted by Booder at 10:03 AM
5 Comments:
i don't know much about the benefits of being sick because i have have the immune system of a lion and i'll tell you why - i never wash my hands. all the germs i would be killing by washing enter my body from me picking my nose and biting my hangnails. however, they enter at small managible levels that my body can easily overcome and adapt too. i therefore become immune to nearly ever germ i encounter. slowly but surely i am becoming invincible. i'm sure jon can back me up with loads of medical research that have proven this to be a surprising natural phenomena. if not, then someone needs to do the tests. true story, i never get sick.
i can, however, tell you about the many benefits of being seriously injured including such gems as anonymous checks in the mail, yeses to marriage proposals, and becoming a legend from doing stupid stuff.
well, i'm proud of both of you for your immune systems and yes traever, i do admire your apparent "ability" to cheat death, however, i am proud of the fact that i missed many days of school because of illness and never got in a lick of trouble because of it.
i'm never sick. when i try to feel sick and get pity mom says puke up something and then you can lay around.
you're killing me smalls
i do not foresee that joke getting old in this lifetime
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