I Am Doc Holliday Suckas
There are some things in life that must be faced, and one of those things is that I am Doc Holliday. Now, others may say that I am not, but they are lying . . . or else sadly mistaken:
-Number 1) Just because you have your name written on a poster of Tombstone, on Val Kilmer aka Doc Holliday does not mean that you are in fact him.
-Number 2) I am a raging alcoholic addicted to poker with tuberculosis and the ability to shoot a gun really well while flaming drunk.
I think that settles it.
And now for something completely different . . . I was watching Seinfeld (sp?) for about a minute because then I had to leave and go do something, but anyway, George had just told Jerry that he would not turn him in to the police if he killed someone and Jerry asked Kramer if he would turn him (Jerry) in to the police if he committed murder and Kramer said, "Definitely." That made me wonder if I would turn my friends in or if I would help them get away. I'm pretty sure that most of my friends would turn me in because deep down they hate me, but it would definitely be a moral dilemma for me. I would probably end up turning them in, just because they killed someone and that's never good. But maybe not. Maybe I'd make a run for it with them to Mexico. I hope that my friends would want to be turned in or else never kill anyone in the first place, but you never know do you (and I'm looking at you JonAthan). Just kidding. I bet if any of my friends turned out to be a murderer it would be . . . well, I'm not sure. I bet each and every one of us could get away with murder. Who would suspect us? People might suspect me, because I'm forever threatening to kill my neighbors, but no one would suspect Leslie or Elise.
Anyway, it's not like I'm plotting a murder or anything, but I was thinking the other day about the best way to hide cocaine, because if you've ever seen Goodfellas, then you know that the wife flushes it down the toilet and they get in trouble. So where would you put it so the cops couldn't find it without completely ruining it? I decided that I would put it in bags and spray paint the bags to blend in with trees and stuff and then I'd tie it up in a tree. That's where I'd store it and so if the cops raided my house they wouldn't find it because it would be up in a tree. Well, maybe that wouldn't work. Now that I see it written down, it sounds rather improbable. Oh well.
-Number 1) Just because you have your name written on a poster of Tombstone, on Val Kilmer aka Doc Holliday does not mean that you are in fact him.
-Number 2) I am a raging alcoholic addicted to poker with tuberculosis and the ability to shoot a gun really well while flaming drunk.
I think that settles it.
And now for something completely different . . . I was watching Seinfeld (sp?) for about a minute because then I had to leave and go do something, but anyway, George had just told Jerry that he would not turn him in to the police if he killed someone and Jerry asked Kramer if he would turn him (Jerry) in to the police if he committed murder and Kramer said, "Definitely." That made me wonder if I would turn my friends in or if I would help them get away. I'm pretty sure that most of my friends would turn me in because deep down they hate me, but it would definitely be a moral dilemma for me. I would probably end up turning them in, just because they killed someone and that's never good. But maybe not. Maybe I'd make a run for it with them to Mexico. I hope that my friends would want to be turned in or else never kill anyone in the first place, but you never know do you (and I'm looking at you JonAthan). Just kidding. I bet if any of my friends turned out to be a murderer it would be . . . well, I'm not sure. I bet each and every one of us could get away with murder. Who would suspect us? People might suspect me, because I'm forever threatening to kill my neighbors, but no one would suspect Leslie or Elise.
Anyway, it's not like I'm plotting a murder or anything, but I was thinking the other day about the best way to hide cocaine, because if you've ever seen Goodfellas, then you know that the wife flushes it down the toilet and they get in trouble. So where would you put it so the cops couldn't find it without completely ruining it? I decided that I would put it in bags and spray paint the bags to blend in with trees and stuff and then I'd tie it up in a tree. That's where I'd store it and so if the cops raided my house they wouldn't find it because it would be up in a tree. Well, maybe that wouldn't work. Now that I see it written down, it sounds rather improbable. Oh well.
posted by Booder at 9:57 AM
6 Comments:
booder, i heard brian sutter was doc holliday, at least that's the word on the street. and i don't think i'd turn you in for murder but i would turn you in for rape because that victim would suffer more.
1) i am doc holliday.
2) girls can't rape people anyway, and even if they can (and i say that because there have been cases where males claimed rape, but i don't believe it) why would we want to? but i do tend to agree with you that rape can be worse than murder.
and ali, i'm totally going to be there!
well, i kinda meant rape would be worse than murder if you did it. i was trying to make fun of you. get it? it's funny.
ewwwww . . . no it's not funny.
and dave, work was okay. don't worry, on july 4th we'll just show up and callie will have no choice but to entertain us with her wit.
oh dear, you do not want to get on my bad side "snake" because then we'll really find out who's who . . . and by that i mean i'll "tare-up on you" . . . sucka.
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