I'm Walking On Very Sharp Pieces of Glass

Well folks, things are going so so. I haven't been fired yet, but I feel that it is rapidly approaching. Also, I haven't recieved any failing grades but that too seems eminent. Those are my predictions for the future. We will just have to see if I'm right, and if I am, then at least I may have found a new career possibility. I would become a psychic and all would call me for advice at 7.00$ a minute! Wonderful! And my name would be Madame Jahvon de la Russio Cassas Orsini Pringle Delavega Niner Evadagaba. But I would let you call me Madame Jahvon if you knew me really well. It would be a sign of our true and permanent friendship that would last as long as you kept spending the 7.00$ a minute to hear my worthless advice. Ha ha ha ha! Aren't I such a card! I mean, how do I think of this stuff? I'll tell you how! I kidnap magic elves and make them tell me all their secrets! That is how I think of these wonderful ideas, which float like clouds of sweet pink and blue cotton candy through my brain!! Well, I suppose I should leave before I start sounding stupid.

PS - If I were a pirate my name would be Red Barney.